None of them
Capo 4th Fret
Intro:
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They're selling{C} postcards{F} of the{C} hanging
They're{F} painting the passports{C} brown
The {G}beauty parlor is filled with sailors
{F}The circus is in{C} town
{C}Here comes the blind commissioner
They've{F} got him in a{C} trance
One{G} hand is tied to the tight-rope walker
{F}The other is in his{C} pants
And the{F} riot squad they're restless
They{C} need somewhere to{F} go
As{C} Lady and I look{G} out tonight
From{F} Desolation{C} Row
Cinde{C}rella,{F} she seems so{C} easy
"It{F} takes one to know one," she{C} smiles
And{G} puts her hands in her back pockets
{F}Bette Davis style{C}
And{C} in comes Romeo, he's moaning
"You Be{F}long to Me I Be{C}lieve"
And {G}someone says," You're in the wrong place, my friend
{F}You better{C} leave"
And the{F} only sound that's left
{C}After the ambulances{F} go
Is {C}Cinderella{G} sweeping up
On{F} Desolation{C} Row
Now the{C} moon is{F} almost{C} hidden
The{F} stars are beginning to{C} hide
The{G} fortunetelling lady
Has even{F} taken all her things in{C}side
All ex{C}cept for Cain and Abel
And the{F} hunchback of Notre{C} Dame
{G}Everybody is making love
Or{F} else expecting{C}rain
And the{F} Good Samaritan, he's dressing
He's getting{C} ready for the {F}show
He's{C} going to the{G} carnival tonight
On{F} Desolation{C} Row
Now O{C}phelia,{F} she's 'neath the{C} window
For{F}her I feel so af{C}raid
On her{G} twenty-second birthday
She al{C}ready is an old{F}maid
To{C} her, death is quite romantic
She{F} wears an iron{C} vest
Her pro{G}fession's her religion
Her{F} sin is her lifeless{C}ness
And {F}though her eyes are fixed upon
{C}Noah's great rain{F}bow
She{C} spends her time{G} peeking
Into{F} Desolation{C} Row
{C}Einstein,{F} disguised as{C} Robin Hood
With his{F} memories in a{C} trunk
{G}Passed this way an hour ago
With his{F} friend, a jealous{C} monk
He{C} looked so immaculately frightful
As he{F} bummed a cigar{C}ette
Then he{G} went off sniffing drainpipes
And re{F}citing the alpha{C}bet
Now{F} you would not think to look at him
But he was{C} famous long a{F}go
For{C} playing the electric{G} violin
On{F} Desolation{C} Row
Dr.{C} Filth,{F} he keeps his{C} world
In{F}side of a leather{C} cup
But{G} all his sexless patients
They're{F} trying to blow it{C} up
Now his{C} nurse, some local loser
She's in{F} charge of the cyanide{C} hole
And sh{G} also keeps the cards that read
"Have{F} Mercy on His{C} Soul"
{F}They all play on penny whistles
{C}You can hear them{F} blow
If you{C} lean your head out{G} far enough
From{F} Desolation{C} Row
Across the{C} street they've{F} nailed the{C} curtains
They're getting{F} ready for the{C} feast
The {G}Phantom of the Opera
A {F}perfect image of a{C}priest
They're{C} spoonfeeding Casanova
To{F} get him to feel more as{C}sured
Then they'll{G} kill him with self-confidence
After {F}poisoning him with{C} words
And the{F} Phantom's shouting to skinny girls
"Get{C} Outa Here If You Don't{F} Know
Casa{C}nova is just being{G} punished for going
To{F} Desolation{C} Row"
Now at{C} midnight{F} all the{C} agents
And the {F}superhuman{C} crew
Come{G} out and round up everyone
That{F} knows more than they{F} do
Then they{C} bring them to the factory
Where the{F} heart-attack mac{C}hine
Is{G} strapped across their shoulders
And{F} then the kero{C}sene
Is{F} brought down from the castles
By in{C}surance men who{F} go
Check to{C} see that nobody is es{G}caping
To{F} Desolation{C} Row
{C}Praise be to{F} Nero's{C} Neptune
The Ti{F}tanic sails at{C} dawn
And{G} everybody's shouting out
"{F}Which Side Are You{C} On?"
And{C} Ezra Pound and T. S. Eliot
{F}Fighting in the captain'{C} tower
While cal{G}ypso singers laugh at them
And{F}fishermen hold{C} flowers
Be{F}tween the windows of the sea
Where{C} lovely mermaids{F} flow
And{C} nobody has to{G} think too much
About {F}Desolation{C} Row
Yes, I re{C}ceived your{F} letter {C}yesterday
About the{F} time the door knob{C} broke
When you{G} asked how I was doing
Was {F}that some kind of{C}joke?
All these{C} people that you mention
Yes, I{F} know them, they're quite{C} lame
I had to{G} rearrange their faces
And give them{F} all another{C}name
{F}Right now I can't read too good
Don't{C} send me no more letters{F} no
{C}Not unless you{G} mail them
From {F}Desolation{C}Row
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